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Feelings Change with the Wind

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Its funny how {what a person means to you} can totally change; sometimes even over night. Someone whom you have maybe always seen as "safe" can suddenly become someone you can't live without. Likewise someone who used to send chills down your spine suddenly loses their spark. What happens to that Za Za Zoo? Where does it go, and how so quickly? Or what turns it on, and where did it come from?

That's thing about life, it is constantly changing like the wind that carries it along. People come in and out of our lives, some are meant for just a moment, and some are meant to be an everlasting anchor, but all affect us in one way or another. I think to me, there are many people, that in another lifetime I could easily see myself falling in love with. That is the thing that is so intangible to try and explain; timing. Timing is that small uncontrollable factor that will always cause a relationship to either magically bloom or sadly dissipate before your eyes. Sometimes something you want so bad that you can feel it in your bones slips through your fingers and you are powerless to stop it. And in that moment, that is the worst gut wrenching feeling you can have. As a very independent woman, I have been in this place more times than I like to admit. Foolishly wearing my heart on my sleeve and falling, hoping that one day I will be caught. Every fall changes you a little bit, sometimes stronger and for the wiser, and sometimes for the worse adding another brick to your emotional wall.

But the eternal optimist...or maybe masochist... inside me, keeps trekking, keeps falling, because I have a whole hearted belief that one day I will find someone to catch me. Someone who can grab life by the horns and run wildly alongside me through it, soaking up every precious moment as we go. Someone who doesn't make me feel like I need to be less of my vibrant self in order to blend better. A man who makes me an even stronger person than I thought I could be. This is the belief that keeps me going after each disappointment, each time I have to step back yet again and say hello once more to Square One. Sometimes it sucks, but then a lot of times I can smile, because I know I am now just one person closer to finding my One Person.

*photo compliments of Sus on Tumblr*

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